Saturday 4 February 2017

The Supreme, Alcohol and the Republic (and some kids)


The Headline and News story goes thus: An unlicensed (not that that mattered) beverages outlet (for the uninitiated, beverages sell alcohol) was shut down by the students of Holy Angels ISC, in Thiruvananthapuram/Trivandrum. Yay!!!! (News In Malayalam here)
But there are bad things in this feel good story.

So listen up, as I tell you a story of our Kritarchy [Rule of Judges] that is the Republic of India.
So the great and venerable Supreme Court in its most pious beliefs ordered (nay, commanded) that all liquor shops on National Highways and State highways be done away with, and no sign of Liquor shops displayed on them and that they keep a distance of more than 500 m from the NH or SH.
And other such like which the most blessed judges of the great court commanded in their great wisdom!
To the most preeminent court, the Right to Profession was no right available to those who sell these crude vapors, corrupting saintly men and women.
For it is but res extra commercium(1), no right to sell liquor, a divine aberration corrupting our souls. But forget that.
You might think that the court constrains itself to some directives that make sense to poor and common men like me!
But the Court is not you or me, the court is incorruptible and the source of all good in this most excellent Republic, with such wonders as the Emergency and The Enforced Patriotism. (Don't Forget Guha)
And  which has given orders that baffle my humble brain and indeed of many others.
But I Digress.
The liquor lobby, oh, but was unshaken by this most chivalrous display of righteousness by the most stately Supreme!
We'll move them of course, and people will still buy them. They said, Those who want their stuff get it. They always do.
Just ask Gujarat.
But let me come to the news at hand.
These young kids, O so beautiful! and O so lovely!
Protesting against an unlicensed liquor shop, which propped up there because the court think it ain't commerce.(to sell’em beverage liquor)
Bad indeed, and the children protested and got it closed down. No villains here, children against liquor.
But there is some bad. Not this particular case, but think about it.

Take into account the Five Star hotels & Alcohol in Kerala.

Only the rich can drink and that is how it should be!
The poor are but buffoons who can handle nothing but native white, German piss and divine blood.
Of course, of course, wine cannot be divine and an aberration at the same time.
Let me correct my earlier thought, Wine is not an alcohol.
Forgive me, divine one.
We must not allow such substances into our mind or body,
For it corrupts us from within, especially Young women!
What do you think will become of those babies you are destined to produce!
Oh the horror! oh the horror!
Do not be merry, do not drink!
Do not touch such stuff because too much is bad!
No need to control or regulate, just ban!
because some people are stupid.
Some people get addicted to it, so ban it!
Don't open de addiction centers or promote responsible drinking
Just ban them, outright.
Some men abuse it, so let all men beware
because some women use it and they get raped by men
Just ban it
Ban it outright.
because after you ban, the state, The state, so powerful and graceful will stop its flow.
No more of alcohol anywhere. No tragedies will be encountered. No spurious liquor or death no scam or such.
Just Ask Al Capone or Gujarat.
Let us not drink. Let us not be merry.
Let us not cheer. Let us be dead.

I pray for a day this malfeasance is dead, and no wrong plays the earth.
For that day I pray for.
O, But the Court! It is not to blame is it?
It is to court law, and law says res extra commercium, no right to sell liquor.
They are the Supreme! They are the divine!
But I tell the court: those who want to kill, will kill, those want to die will die, Those who want to drink will drink, and those who will drink and drive will still drink and drive.
Let us see, let us see, O, Supreme One, when thy grand order comes into full effect on April the first of Twenty-Seventeen whether no more drunk driving happens in NHs and SHs, but only in small bylanes and Panchayat Roads. Let us see, Let us see!


Note 1: Res Extra Commercium is a Legal Doctrine (Origin in the Roman Law) that sets out that some items cannot be subject to private rights, Alcohol is considered one such.

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